Cold brutal beauty

Many thanks to Carve magazine for alerting me to these 2 short award-winning surf films that epitomise the new Arty Farty Surf film genre.

'Dark side of the Lens' is shot in Ireland.


'Uncommon Ideals' is shot around the North Sea, including Norway.


Both ably demonstrate that the tropical ideal of surfing often peddled in our mags and in the mainstream media is only one definition of surfing beauty.

Drought - gentlemen, the answer is in your hands

With half of the UK in drought, what can we do to help? Well, it appears as if the UK water industry treats (to drinking water standard) and supplies 17 billion litres of water every day and has to treat a massive 16 billion litres of 'wastewater' (sewage to you and me). This is simply a huge waste of money and carbon as very little of the water has to be drunk or used for washing food that will be eaten raw.

What are the easy ways for us to do our bit to combat the drought when performing toilet duties:
1. As flushing bogs uses at least 3 litres of water, cut out the processing and tinkle in your wetsuit (but rinse it in a water butt afterwards),
2. Pee in the shower or washbasin (probably not while cleaning your teeth)
3. When taking a leak in the bog, 'if its yellow, let it mellow'.

The above advice is equally applicable to women, although may be harder to perform.

Shock as water company boss talks common sense

The boss of South West Water, one of the UK's biggest water companies seems to have caused alarm among some who should know better (like the ex Minister for Poo, Ben Bradshaw) by talking common sense. He said that he wouldn't swim at Combe Martin after heavy rainfall because of the likelihood of contamination from combined sewers.

This is something that all surfers, and wild swimmers like David Walliams, know from experience. SAS operate an excellent real time sewage alert service but this only covers the top quality bathing waters. At other places - like all my home breaks - there is no automatic warning system. Some Councils have erected permanent signs warning water users, but they should be putting up warning signs and issuing online / social media warnings after heavy rainfall.

What does a surfer smell like?

I doubt the creative luvvies at Chanel are old enough to know they're rehashing the classic 1980s advert for gents aftershave Old Spice. But that's not stopped them using surfing and a hunky surfer to sell perfume to blokes (or more likely, their partners) . The Chanel Allure Homme Sport ad is just the latest example of surfploitation by companies selling their wares, in this case the olfactory essence of surfing (admittedly, it is a nice stall under the lip).

But what DOES a surfer smell like? Chanel think their Allure Homme Sport evokes a' Sparkling and invigorating freshness, a natural and radiant sensibility, heightening the scent of a breeze against bare skin...to create an infinitely seductive allure.'

Bizarrely, when I asked my wife what I smell like after surfing, she said it was more like 'a heady cocktail of decaying neoprene, dilute sewage, crusty saltiness and occasionally stale pee.'

It's true - the water was colder years ago

Us 'mature' surfers often grumble that we had it tougher in the old days - no instant online eyeball surfchecks, slow journeys to the surf and wetsuits like suits of armour. Even worse, the water was colder. Now there is evidence that all is true - even that last bit.

A pukka study shows that the oceans have been warming for over a century - before manmade climate change had time to kick in. The study was comparing new data ftom 'robot' buoys with that from the 1st serious scientific oceanographic journey by HMS Challenger in the 1870s.

Mind you, we are only talking about a rise of about 0.6° C, so it just goes to prove that our memories are playing tricks with us.

Kippertastic - sustainable fishing does exist

Another example of sustainable fishing - the Guardian reports big supermarkets increasing sales of kippers. They are usually herring, packed with omega 3 oils, cheap and a common species. They probably nourished the Hawaiian princes before their historical dip in the Brid briney.

Did William the Conqueror surf ashore?

Today's news that Hawaiian princes surfed England's east coast in the 19th century makes me wonder how far back in history can the Museum go? The Bayeaux tapestry should be checked very carefully - William of Normandy may have beaten Edward VIII by 9 centuries to be the first English surfing monarch! Hastings goes off.

Historic day for UK surfing

Yesterday, the Museum of British Surfing opened to the public. The night before, about 200 local dignitaries and national surf legends attend a launch event sponsored by Finisterre, SAS and Skinners brewery. Everyone I spoke to was raving about the Museum which aims to be the best and greenest surf museum in the world.

Scariest surf ever?

I sat watching this open-mouthed. I've always been a bit sniffy about the 'purity' of tow-in surfing, but this video has changed my mind.

Does sustainable fishing exist 2?

Tonight was the last of the BBC2 programme - The Fisherman's Apprentice. Monty Halls has taken the lessons he learnt from 8 months living in a small Cornish fishing village, including a spell of deep sea trawling and visiting US East Coast fishermen, to come up with a model of how inshore fishing can survive or even prosper.

Essentially, the fishermen started a 'fish box' scheme like a veg box. Punters don't know what they're going to get but must learn to wean themselves off the 5 species (cod, haddock, tuna, prawn and salmon) that accounts for 60% of fish eaten in the UK.

This can only be a good thing so it reduces the waste of edible fish which gets used as bait or chucked back dead and increases income for fishermen. It must also reduce the pressure on overfished species.

Ed the Shred - Royal scoop for new Museum

On Friday 6th April, the Museum of British Surfing will open in Braunton, Devon. And to mark this auspicious occasion, the Museum has released the earliest photo of a Briton standing on a surfboard - the future King Edward VIII while on holiday in Hawaii in 1920. Whatever your views of the monarchy in general and Edward VIII in particular, this is an important development in the history of UK surfing. Crowns off to the Museum.

Most beautiful video on the internet?

No, not the latest Reef girls video, but this 3 minute mesmerizing animation of ocean currents, produced by NASA (which has a 20 minute version). It graphically shows how energy, heat, pollution and litter gets transported around the globe.

The Coleman Brothers - surfing's Coen Brothers?

Actually, Jack Coleman and Dominic Coleman aren't brothers (or related to me, for that matter), but both are talented surf filmmakers. Jack makes arty retro (if sexist) films like Happy Beach, Dominic has made one absolutely sublime pisstake of a certain kind of newbie surfer, nicely reviewed by Surfer's Path.

Surf retailing - what next?

I've been touring the surf shops of Brighton, handing out posters for the Museum of British Surfing's first exhibition at its permanent home in Braunton, Devon*. It's made me realise how much surf retailing has changed and wonder where its going.

There are 3 'proper' independent surfshops (Filf/Bone Idol, Oceansports and Brighton Watersports) run by surfers (or other watersports enthusiasts) all within sight of the sea. These all have long pedigrees and sell the hardware needed by surfers as well as surf brand clothing. The other 2 shops are outlets for global 'outdoor lifestyle' brands O'Neill and Quiksilver (2011 gross profits US$1.08BILLION) that are located smack bang in the the heart of the shopping centre and mainly sell their own brand clothing and a little bit of the other hardware (wax) needed by surfers. Then, of course, there is the growing band of online retailers, including the local surf community website, Sharkbait, able to operate without coughing up for retail premises.

I can't help wondering where surf retailing is heading. My own experience of buying from big online shops hasn't been too happy - products didn't live up to expectations or the wrong stuff was sent necessitating time, money and hassle exchanging it. I don't resent the founders of global brands (surfers themselves) cashing in on the popularity of the surfing lifestyle, but I don't want to swell their coffers anymore.

Independent surfshops must be getting squeezed from all directions but there has to be a future for them as no-one in the right minds buys a surfboard or wetsuit without inspecting them or trying them on first and its these shops that are most familiar with local conditions. Spending money in these shops helps the local economy, rather than making multinationals even richer. Support your local surfshop.

*All shops I visited were very willing to take the posters and show their support for the Museum which started in Brighton.

Historic day for British Surfing

I've just been delivering some of these ace posters for the Museum of British Surfing's opening exhibition. Every shop and cafe in Brighton I've been to have commented on the great artwork. Surf art has been in us surfers' lives for ever and is increasingly making it into the mainstream.

Peter Robinson started his collection and had some early displays in Brighton, some travelling exhibitions and is opening the Museum to the public in its permanent home in Braunton, North Devon on Friday 6th April.

It promises to be an exciting start for a 'must see' venue for all British surfers. (I confess, I'm a trustee of the Museum!).